Viewed as an attachment and or responsibilities. In life we have a set of strings that sometimes converge as webs of different sets and meanings. This strings either pull or push us in different directions and situations, Some we see and feel are good and mostly are just plain different either resulting to bad or enough depending on how we react as it moves us. But at the end of the day we will still be the one to choose whether what type of string should we hold on to or to let go, at the end It is us who choose.
On a Monday morning you woke up, got up. Whether you would take a bath or a shower, shave or just go straight to put on that suit you’ve been carefully hanging. Everyday is just the same as always.If your that type of person who always looks into things, being as curious as possible, you may actually find the everyday routine is just to plain and boring, even the idea of it or even the reason behind why we do it is always the same, you’ve seen your grandparents do it, your parents do it and then time will come you will see your own children do it, while you are still doing it.. Sadly this is life, whether its actually because you want to do it or rather needed or maybe just because it is what the “modern world” has given to us, an endless automated life.
“A love founded by two hearts alike.”
“A flame that sparked, ember-ed the night.”
“Two separate people turned entwined.”
“For all eternity combined.”
“She has loved he, now that is true.”
“For he has loved she, unexpectedly too.”
“A path unseen, now shines bright.”
“When two unknown souls collide.”
“A promise of love, never undone.”
“To walk the same path as one.”
“Special dedication to my love, from January 18,2010 to Forever”
“The day I kneel and you said yes, was the happiest day that I will never forget”
Credits to Silouxa of Deviant-Art for the Sketch.
It’s been a while since I’ve written anything, nor have done anything productive. I am on my twenties now, with at least an eighteen years of experience in life, and to be honest I am “EXHAUSTED”!, turns out living in between things of do’s and don’ts can really put up so much stress and anxiety on a person that sometimes the word “QUIT” is almost a little bit easy to do than the word “CONTINUE” (not actually stating the fact that it is shorter thus easier to write.). Lets face it, we’ve all been feeling a little bit left out on things we know we mustn’t or just plain shouldn’t whether its about school, religion, work, social stuff and even on family.
Exhaustion is common this days although some of us just blindly ignores it or just plainly hides it, and most of the time we didn’t even know it’s existence. For me it’s like an apple, not rotting with time, but melting. Where you can watch yourself slowly drying out, draining the life and soul out of you. The feeling where everything you do before doesn’t even weight anything anymore. Wasting your day on empty thoughts, soundless voices and useless actions, where people will look at you and see you and not even care. You keep on doing this “daily routine” in which are necessary but not important, things that are wanting but not actually needed, previous friends whom you can’t even talk to with. Things that suppose to make you happy or at-least give you a little grin, doesn’t work well anymore. People whom you love aren’t always there to comfort you, things that you really wanna do ain’t that accessible to you or hindrances follows. Missed the old times where laughter would just be enough.
How I wish that tomorrow morning, everything would at-least be a little different, on which you won’t put up on those things that aren’t actually needed, to approach those persons of which you have doubts to. To at least feel the you belong, that everyone could be a little bit more understanding rather than be undermining. To not be afraid to smile and to be smiled back upon, to at least have a true happy day once in a while.
Photo by : louskan (Melting_Apple) Deviant Art
A lost soul that wonders a plain,
Searching for purpose, for something to gain.
How odd it is that no one is here,
When I hear voices from within.
Is someone there, you bravely asked,
Yet no one dares to answer that.
Am I alone?, you keep thinking
Or am I just simply dreaming?
Being lost is a tragedy,
Yet you don’t feel no agony
It seems the pain is gone,
and some things are just done.
A lost soul who keeps finding his way,
Still asking, and taking the same way.
He may wander their for eternity,
But it is for him to bear.
Blessing is such a simple word yet this very word echoes with power and emotion. Such word can distinguish the apparent separation of good and bad. But when do we consider someone or something or maybe anything a blessing? Is it on how “it” changes our lives? Or maybe how “someone” touches our hearts? It is a simple question, but almost every one of us find it hard to answer. How can we be sure that “it” or this “someone” is the blessing? Did we judged it too soon? Or too late?
It was five years ago when I met this girl during my senior years, she was just like any ordinary local girl around, cute smile, dazzling eyes, black hair and of course beautiful face. We were like typical teens and we were friends, she was cool and I use to call her mommy for some reasons. We both have our relationships back before so we never really had the chance to try the connections and maybe sync together. After sometime after my last relationship burned out, I try to connect myself with a much more important things,cause I was a boy scout back then and me and my fellow scouts were preparing for a national jamboree, then on the second day of that said event me and my buddies are talking about some boys stuff and they brought up the topic about her, Angelica was her name, and that night that name resonated inside my head, like having a last song syndrome of a song that was totally made up of her name.
It is clear that I have to talk to her, so the next morning I called her, ask her politely if I can court her after I get back and she was shocked, man I was a total dumb that time, I know it was too fast and I know she would reject me but viola, she just told me to tell that thing personally to her when I get back. Lost my focus for a whole week the jamboree faded like leaves being swept away by the coming storm, memories of her flashed back like it was my last dying breath, the feeling was real, and yes the feeling was awesome. It wasn’t the first time I had this feeling but this one is totally different, It’s like a star, no a whole constellation of them are smile upon you, their light showing you, serving not just a beacon but a path to something you just don’t want to miss, and then I did decide that no matter what happen this thing will last, the stars already told me something, maybe it’s for the better.
So the jamboree ended, enjoyed it? Yes, I enjoyed the feeling to be able to comeback and find her and tell her everything. The courtship lasted for two weeks, love was in the air and we’ve been together ever since. Realized she’s not just any ordinary girl after that, we do argue like others but we argue to talk, talk about how to solve everything together without letting go. Do we fight? Yes, but we only fight to keep our relationship alive. We’ve been through almost everything, maybe the most important thing is that she listens to me and I do the same back, she’s an all in one package for me, a deal from god, to keep her and love her for the rest of this short but happy life. She is a true blessing.
It’s been to long since I’ve known someone whom you can call a friend. Today people just try to fit themselves, like jigsaw puzzle pieces that had been folded and worn out from the harsh environment we call society. We fit yes, but sometimes we are too loose or more often to worn out to connect with the other puzzle pieces, feeling of not able to fit in. It’s been too obvious that those people around us just try to understand what we do, try to tell us that it is comfortable around them, but it’s not.
It happened on the 27th of January, this year which is 2015. The moment I step on the school grounds, I felt not just one, but dozens of frozen eyes staring at me, it’s having a frostbite in a middle of a desert, too hot to move and too painful to react. I’ve done this a thousand times, could probably say “been there, done that” but that moment of feeling away from everybody even thou they are just inches near you, feels just so uninspiring. Been a lot of troubles lately at school at home, but the understanding doesn’t really exist anymore. Those fake smiles and those sinister smirks, coming from those people that you should trust, those people who teaches you everyday, the one’s whom you listen everyday. It’s not right, specially coming from them, they should be the one who asks you whats happening, the one who you could really talk to. Arrogant, and self centered that is how I feel about them, I believe it’s better to talk to a mentally impaired person, at least they don’t lie. Even thou the truth might hurt at least you will feel that they care, none the less for those whom they call themselves “degree holders” are those who couldn’t even understand the feeling of others, even if they are “specially trained” for that purpose. I’m not against every teachers and professors, it’s just their are some.
Judging someone unconsciously, is one of the most painful feeling somebody could have experience, specially coming from those people whom you think cares. If I could just touch their souls and tell them everything and let them understand that there are people who are just way to wounded to suffer anymore, that there are people who are too fragile to be criticized as fast as you look into them. They have given me fear, fear that pushed me back ever since. All I want is hope, to be believe in. If they could just hear me more, they would understand. All I want is a chance.